Soar

Ungainly form, that of wings and bony mouth parts.
She hovers unpredictably as the invisible currents sway and scours over painted lines for all our morsels. A crusted stone of deep fried batter, a gummy rubble of trampled nuts.
For all the glory and grace attributed to flight, an observer can't help smirking or scoffing. Flapping is ugly and the staggered descent of a hovering body reminds me of climbing down a ladder.
And from the earth, in the path of intersection, that approach is threatening.
Crazed, mindless glass eyes in that feathered head don't seem to absorb so much as project, stressing madness into the air around them.
Those looming wings...
Useless feet dangling in the transparent sky...
It's unearthly. There is nothing that grinds at the innate comprehension inside me as does that flight. Unpowered, unreal. Hanging like puppets. Staring like statues.
My jealousy and anger and fear form bitter condensation on my skin at the passing.
Hearts were not meant to soar like that.

A Pox on Both Your Tiny Cars

The time has come.

Two circus clowns have been shot dead during a performance in the eastern Colombian city of Cucuta, police say.

Hah! Hahahahahah! Oh, that's god damned beautiful. Oh, this is the happiest day of my life.

The motive for the latest killing remains unclear... Local media reports suggest two attackers may have been involved.

Unclear? Jesus Christ, people, can't you see the War on Clowns has begun? Aren't you aware of the importance of this! This wasn't just a lone clownicide, this was two armed men showing their belief in truth, beauty and a world without overlarge shoes. I'll show you fucking unclear. Unclear is a world where wrong and right are muddled by excessive white makeup, and where your vision is obscured by coconut cream pie in your GOD DAMN EYES.

One clown was shot in the head as he performed on stage, about an hour into the Circo del Sol's evening show.

Oh yeah, and they didn't catch anyone. Exciting times, my friends. Exciting times.

On Forming a More Credulous Union

From Gizmodo

“…Every single one of these consumer electronics companies should be approached as the enemy. They work for us. Hold their feet to the fire when they say their product is going to change even a small part of our lives.”
Joel Johnson, Gizmodo Editor Emeritus

Holy social conditioning, Batman. Sounds like crushing the Zeusworthy sense of superiority every single land owner had prior to the 18th century has also managed to liquefy our ability to control the people who work for us.

No, I’m not making some kind of management training course crib note statement here. I’m realizing from that little bit of wisdom that perhaps what our country has lost through the long and irreplaceable process of self-governmental socialization is the ability to control and dehumanize those who are truly meant to serve us. Yes, truly meant to serve us. Yes, dehumanize.

We need to strip the nice, shiny chrome coating that businesses have slathered on themselves to pretty up their outward image. Just scrape all that stuff off and reveal the little wooden boy beneath. Puppets. Tools. Objects. Possessions. Businesses, however massive, conglomerated, international or philanthropic they may be do not deserve the respect that the even most meager mendicant should be offered.

So how do we do that? Read everything Joel Johnson has said in that article. For all his use of hyperbole, mockery and freewheeling snarkiness, he has a lot to say about the underhanded trickery lies these businesses have been throwing our way for many decades. Just that one sentence, “They work for us,” throws me into an arm-pumping orgy of Hallelujahs and Amens. And I don’t even believe in God. That’s just how it ought to be. How it could be if we’d all quit listening to the hype.

There’s a clear cut conflict. You and I and everyone else have money. The very point of a business’ existence is to take it from us, by any means necessary. That’s how a business works for its owners. But: those sparkly little ducats in your pocket are yours to spend. You ultimately reward businesses with your money by purchasing the best made products from the most responsive companies. But you have to be vigilant! Just as much as your money is a privilege they have to earn, their compliance and innovation are a privilege you earn by being hard with them.

I see two root causes for the incremental gains that the supply side has taken.

First, advertising. Professionals in that arena might mince words or deny culpability, but adverts lie. They present the favorable and subvert the negative. There are laws requiring businesses to reveal a pretty staggering amount of information regarding their products—nutrition info, known side effects, safety ratings, gas mileage; the list goes on—but that doesn’t stop their presentation method from being 4pt. font, or an announcer who’s replay rate has been accelerated to level that would make Alvin and the Chipmunks accuse him of having no balls.

The medium is the message, right? The message that I get from that is that someone doesn’t want me to know that information. When someone doesn’t want me to know, I tend to start trying to find out. But not everyone has the time or sophomoric contradiction instinct that I do. I’m thinking about founding Iconoclasts Anonymous. What I mean is that advertising takes the average person’s busy schedule by the scruff of the neck and blasts a firehose full of pretty pictures at their eyes. We all fall victim to it once in a while.

So, the second thing is where the confrontational, sensationalist use of the word “dehumanize” comes in up on paragraph two. I think that tolerance and plurality and respect for others has become more and more open-minded and far-reaching with every year since probably the 1960s. This gives us things I would stake my life on, like racial, gender and sexual identity equality. It gives us things I’m ambivalent toward, like body-type tolerance, and it gives us things that make me scratch my head and go buy a burrito rather than think about it, like equal rights for animals, and tolerance for crazy religious beliefs. But really, the legwork for all that kind of stuff has been going on for centuries.

On May 10th, 1886, corporate entities became people in the eyes of the US court system.

Ok, switchback. I’m not saying that there have been any poor decisions made by lawmakers that need to be reversed (actually… I’m just not saying that now), but I do think that the social engineering that has gone on by our aggregate groupmind has led us to be so tolerant that we have a hard time treating businesses like they should be treated: as tools.

Push back against them however you can. Don’t buy without information, don’t keep buying things that break for no good reason, or don’t do what they’re supposed to. Listen again to what Joel Johnson says in that article. Consumers can only expect what the lowest common denominator is asking for—or failing that, if we don’t ask, whatever is easiest and quickest for them.

A lack of tolerance and a subjugated value for the lives of others is what makes slave holding and the violently oppressive aristocracies of the past and present possible. These days, even the uppermost echelons of consumers are settling for half-assed goods as often as not. I would posit a link between this behavior—civility—and what we get from our suppliers. You don’t need to be a dick to people to insist on better service, better products and advancements you can sink your teeth into. Vote with your wallet, as they say.

Make them work for us. This is a trick that seems to have been lost on the population at large. Perhaps to our overall detriment. The question of how to fix this, as always remains. But I think I have some ideas that I'd like to talk about later.

Conservative Primates

Much of the time, I look at a quote like this, and I have something useful to say about religion, or tolerance or homosexual rights...

The head of the Anglican Church and Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams has said that he fears that the Church may split over the row sparked by the appointment of openly gay US bishop, Gene Robinson, in 2003.

"We have a difficult meeting ahead of us with many challenges and many decisions to make," Dr Williams told reporters as he arrived in Dar es Salaam on Wednesday.

Conservative primates are angered that the recently-installed head of the American Episcopal Church, Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, who has publicly backed Mr Robinson, is attending the meeting.

Today, though... Today I just want to make a joke about "Conservative Primates." (This is what happens when I don't consume anything but coffee until 1pm.)

The Fall of the Old World
[Monkeys]

Wendel Archibald IV slid out from under the satin sheets of his pillow-top king sized bed, slipping on a pair of doe-leather penny loafers and tightening the belt of his hand tailored robe. He smiled out the giant window of his master bedroom, overlooking the luxurious sprawl of Primate City.

What did I ever do to deserve this, he wondered to himself, watching the doves play in the early morning mist. Oh, that's right, he concluded, chuckling as he lit a cigar. He looked to the east, down at the massive factory his father had built, taking in bananas and sugar, chemicals by the truckload and pumping out black smoke, toxic river waste and Langur Brand Banana Chips. Not to mention it's other exports: carpal tunnel syndrome, broken families and wafer-thin paycheques. I was born! Wendel laughed, long and loud, his hearty chuckle echoing down the many corridors of his luxurious estate.

It was good to be a chimp.

***

Later, the bright blue sky slashed with thin white clouds, Wendel sat down with one of his top analysts, Barry Singleton, a cold-hearted baboon from the south side of the city. His head for numbers and his ruthless nature had brought him to the top of his graduating class and made him very wealthy through shrewd investment. Wendel appreciated his advice and didn't even worry about the fact that he was a baboon. Some people were bound to rise above their station, even if they'd never be the equals of Wendel and his family.

"Your factory is being eyed by an environmental group for its waste drainage into the Macaque river." Barry drank water and munched on an energy bar, even surrounded by the gorgeous dessert trays and the intoxicating aroma of coffees, teas and baking bread here at the café du singerie. There's just no accounting for the tastes of nouveau riche.

"What do you suggest, Barry?"

"Donald is working with Senator O'Reilley, thinks he can make some kind of delaying tactic, but you're best off actually doing something about the mess this time. You can't keep that pack of dogs off forever."

Wendel looked down at his quiche, suddenly feeling ill. "That kind of talk isn't what I like to hear during my repast."

Barry swallowed the last bit of his ugly brown granola and honey concoction, then slowly consumed an entire glass of Banyan Springs mineral water. Wendel fumed as he waited. "It's not like you can blame me. The New World party is getting the public on their side about environmental damage. Our side's been running interference for longer than either of us have been alive, but they're starting to see the soft spots in our peel, if you know what I mean."

Wendel ground his teeth together. He was about two seconds from going apeshit, but remembered his court-mandated anger management cases--god damned cops and there quotas weren't bad enough, he'd had to fall into the courtroom of some activist, commie judge from a college town--and held it in.

"Just get me results. The Archibald family name is synonymous with Primate City. We built this city and I will not see that legacy fall apart at the hands of some fleapicking termite-stickers."

Barry narrowed his gaze, looking down his snout through half-moon glasses. He straightened his tie and hesitated. For just a second, Wendel reveled in the sight of it.

Barry stood, glaring now, as if having reached a decision. "You need to think about your priorites. The Old World party is going nowhere, and even your allies are looking elsewhere for leaders. Stop flinging shit like this is fucking jungle and start learning what's what."

Wendel sat speechless and stunned as the baboon took a deep breath and walked toward the street. He swiveled in his chair, watching his analyst go, aghast. Barry stopped there, hands in his pockets and called out, "Oh, and you can pick up the check. That's all a rich, stodgy chimp like you is good for these days, anyway."



To be continued...
Only, probably not.



oh, and, yeah, I know that chimps aren't old world monkeys.
Shut up.

Holes in the theory

Holes in the theory
Watching Lewis Black's "Red, White and Screwed" the other night, I got angry about facts. Not particular facts, but facts in general. He says (paraphrasing here) that we don't hear facts anymore. We hear spin and opinion. The Republican party says "This is how the situation in Iraq looks to us," and the Democratic party says "No, actually it looks more like this," and the commissions our dollars pay for try to report some actual facts and everyone waits for someone to summarize it and recommend a course of action.

Even policy makers can't be asked to actually read a piece of legislation. Consider the scene in Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11, wherein he asks a bevy of actual congressfolks what they thought when the read the Patriot Act. Well, the sick thing is, none of them had. Some of the laughed at the thought of reading it. Facts have to parceled out, interpreted, commented on and turned into a short animated film by Trey Parker and Matt Stone before anyone in the regular populace will pay attention.

Most people just change the channel when presented with actual data. They glance at graphs and presume that presentation is reality. Seeing is believing on a stupidly profound level.

I am a die-hard anti conspiracy theorist. I believe that collective action by millions of individuals causes things to happen, and I don't really believe that any small group of people has nearly the control over our populace as some would like you to think. (Mind, the notion of conspiracy theory may be a useful tool for prodding people to action... but it might also be encouragement for the nihilistic malaise so many people feel when confronted with actual opportunities for change. I'm not sure.) So, I don't want to imply that the lack of facts is some kind of horrific plot to control our minds, but I think that everyone with control over media, or the money to utilize it is definitely taking advantage of the situation.

So when the honorable Mr. Black offers up that we're not seeing any facts, he hits me really close to home. I love facts. I fucking love facts. I can look at charts and graphs and maps and tables and dictionaries and thesauri and encyclopediae for days and days and days. I just want to learn things. The internet isn't just for porn, it IS porn. That is, in the sense that I am physically attracted to information, and there is no better place to get it.

But most people don't want all that information. Unlike me, it isn't in their current curriculum vitae to spend three hours on a weekday night oscillating between Wikipedia entries and non-fiction books. Most people don't want to do that. No one should have to do that. In fact, I understand that I'm pretty abnormal because I do.

But... and I'm not yelling at you, dear reader... THAT DOESNT FUCKING EXCUSE THE FACT THAT RAW, UNPOLISHED DATA IS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND!

You know, yelling never gets old. But seriously, research is a huge industry these days. Believe me, I sell tens of thousands of dollars of esoteric research equipment every day, to scientists in dozens of fields. Biology, chemistry, zoology, biochemistry, nano-manufacturing, criminology, primatology, weapons research, materials science... this country is locked down hard into a progress model. We want to create, understand and categorize, and as a result, people around the world are looking at data. They're collating facts into those little nuggets of wisdom you see on CNN and read in the NY Times.

But they're not sharing it with me. Or else I'm completely in the dark as to where I can find more of this information. I want to be involved in this process. I'm no research scientist, but I can read tables of data and draw useful conclusions. Problem is finding that data. Facts. Unrefined information. Where are the repositories?

Where do I find a chart of temperature data for the last sixty years organized by daily, weekly, monthly and yearly averages? Sorted by region, elevation and aggregate world temperature?

Who can give me Nation Park earnings figures from 1930 to the present? Not to mention expenditures, percentage of revenue from donation or from ticket sales? How much of their budget comes directly from taxes, and how much is from other sources?

What was Grover Cleveland's use of the Veto like? Specifically, how many times did he use it, and against what bills? When was he overturned? Who spearheaded those votes? What were the margins?

I've tried often to find this sort of information. It exists. It's chronicled. I know this, because researchers use it when they publish articles. I'm probably just advertising my ignorance. I know you can probably find it in books in libraries, but isn't that silly? Inefficient at least. The old hacker credo still stands that information wants to be free, and locking it in books doesn't help anyone.

Again, this isn't about conspiracy. It's just that no one has any incentive to put that information into the public sphere. Google is trying, with Google Books. Most reference publishers have to charge prohibitively for their works, just to afford to be able to collect information that way. Things are changing, but slowly. We need to find ways to give incentive to the people who have this information to make it public.

I suppose what I want to say is that until information is easy to find, even dataphiles like myself will run into walls at every turn. A staff of researchers has the experience, incentive and time to track down, consume and organize data into bite-sized chunks for mass consumption. I don't have those resources, but that doesn't invalidate any conclusions I may draw. Good search tools are a must for the rest of us. Transparency levels the playing field.

As we approach perfect access to data, we will likely see an increase in the validity of points that individuals raise. We'll see more theorizing as well and better competition and we'll have a way to settle disputes. I hope that the same forces breaking down copyright and intellectual property will some day break down the limited locus of information. Electronic data doesn't have to be treated like a commodity.

Astronauts

Does anyone really think that one astronaut trying to kill another has lessened the reputation or the importance of astronauts? Does anyone think kids are going to want to stop going to space because one of these highly respected people did something stupid in fifty years of spaceflight? Seriously. That's a fucking good record. It's not like kids stop wanting to be the president because they turn out to be assholes. God.

"I'm sure it is shocking to find out that they have unhappy marriages, engage in affairs, have problems with their kids, act out in all sorts of inappropriate ways," I'll attribute that quote to some guy with a degree named Pat Santy at the University of Michigan. Is any adult in this country ever surprised by the fact that government agencies, businesses and other institutions try to keep their dirty business under wraps? Isn't this what hour-long dramas are supposed to reveal to us about our favorite workplaces?

I hope this forces a few more people to pull their heads out of their asses and start realizing we're all basically the same, when it comes to sex, violence and raging emotion.

The Unknown

Let me start by saying that the key to writing pulp fiction--and I learned this just last night in a three hour, ferocious pounding of keys--is to tie someone to a chair. Shit just has to go down when someone is tied to a chair. It makes beautiful things happen. *Ahem* On to something more important.

***

I have to keep asking myself what I'm afraid of. I don't often find myself afraid. The cold body convolutions and desperate, grasping thoughts of a true fear state are thankfully uncommon. I can be brusque or stoic in the face of most things people balk at. Snakes. Spiders. Heights. Presentational speaking. Thoughts of death.

But then, do we really define "fear" that narrowly? Is the true panic state of thoughtless action and haunted dreams the only kind of fear? Or do I need to consider missed opportunities, reluctance and inaction to be fear as well?

It's just a word. A negative label to nail down certain kinds of action. A bitter pill to force reevaluation. A powerful goad to instigate or enliven action. Fear is a reviled emotion, and with little wonder. The gripping claw of terror in the gut, the nervous sweat, the constant prodding of paranoia; actual fear is never pleasant. Above and beyond that, the widespread cultural approval of valor, courage and even recklessness around the globe is so strong that to be stymied from action for any cause is reason enough to engender shame.

And I get that. I try very hard to accept my action--or inaction--and get by the moralistic wavering that comes from trying to explain my actions to myself. This is the human condition, telling stories in the past tense. Assigning cause and effect to the things we see and do. This is the power of the witness.

And that power is what makes us say that we are all afraid of the unknown. Such a stupid concept. And yet, so brilliant. To say that a body is restrained by excessive caution or contentment. It fills us with a desire to expand horizons, to build on experience. Not to stay small.

They Might Be Giants summed it up perfectly, as they have many things, in the song "Where Your Eyes Don't Go." Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms/And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do. Thinking about it now, I can raise that primal, caveman tickle on the back of my neck. Because seeing is believing. Because we are driven by sight.

So what is all of that? Why do these thoughts ring for me right now? I can imagine I have an instinct, a crawling phantom of formative events telling me to buck stagnation and grab at the first passing train. Maybe a biological imperative, passed down to me and as unavoidable as a falling building. Like all things (like fear itself) it's a blessing and a curse. I chide myself for not talking to that girl, or for sitting here at this desk and sucking at the teat of the service industry. I use that language prod, sharpened by constant use over millennia, to get what I want out of life.

Then I have to get up. I have to reach and strain. Push, grasp, strike. Then, when whatever I want is here in the palm of my hand, I have to hold. Fight to keep it. The legacy of fear is determination. It's a man standing up in front of his peers and bellowing out in rich baritone at the end of a movie, "I will not sit idly by!" Fear and Guilt and Action, all bundled together in the cycle of human triumph.

I suppose it's also in my nature to take the mundane and grant it a pressing urgency, or a universal importance, but I'm not going to let anyone fault me for that.

I'm an Artist, Goddammit.

When I watch this most recent War on Movies production, I'm in love with it. Even after a full ten months without shoving ourselves in front of a camera, sitting in an editing chair or even writhing in the uncomfortable silence as someone watches my hard work, I feel like we've produced something with some really crisp moments. The introduction works so well for me, from the sound to the shots we used... the tension is great. The ending, also, is bloody wonderful. Even with only one camera, we managed to get a lot of mileage by filming things more than once from different angles. I can't wait until we actually have two cameras to make more use of this. (You can tell there are some shots where the lines being spoken are detached from what's happening on screen. Or maybe you can't, but I can.)

I'm not going to goo over it any more, but just put a link up and hope that someone gets a laugh out of this.

www.waronmovies.com/war/eleventh.html